Survival of the Elves
by Im A Brandybuck
Summary: *DONE* Legolas, Arwen, Elrond, Galadriel, Celeborn, and Haldir are standed on an island for 30 days, watch as one by one, their sanity goes down the hole. They kept diaries of the experience... *interesting twist on Legolas' diary!* (Celeborn's diary up!)
1. Introduction/ Opening... whatever

Survivor: Elf Style

Voice: Hello, welcome to our new show, Survivor: Survival of the Middle Earth races! Today, we will observe the Elves. Each Elf has kept their own diary. Will Legolas, Arwen, Elrond, Haldir, Galadriel, and Celeborn put up with each other for thirty days? Here is what they recorded…


	2. Legolas' Diary

**The Diary of Legolas:**

**Day One:**

We just arrived on this horrible island. This grainy substance we walk on is like brown snow. Sand as Elrond called it… wonder if it taste good… I shall try to eat it later. We sent Haldir out to look for some food fit for an elf. Preferably some form of meat. He's a good hunter; he'll come back with something good. Galadriel has been pacing back and forth for five minutes now… it's pretty annoying. I mean, we just got here, and already she's gone insane. Celeborn has already been bossing us around. We're all royalty here! Just because he's a king doesn't mean anything. Arwen's a princess, I'm a prince (certainly not Arwen's.) Galadriel is a queen, although she doesn't look like one now, and Elrond is kinda like a king I guess. Celeborn just told me to put away my foolish book and make a fire. Ha, do it yourself old man. The waves are so loud crashing upon this insane place. This could drive me mad. If I have to put up with that for 30 days… I will go now and look for some wood, before Celeborn really does hurt me…

**Day Seven:**

Seven days have passed. Those waves are still bloody crashing. It's driving me mad. Arwen has gathered numerous pictures of her love, Aragorn and plastered them on a tree. It's quite ridiculous. Elrond told her to calm down. It's funny when they're apart… Galadriel laughed at her. She and Arwen had a hissy girl fight yesterday. Quite humorous. Haldir found some form of food. It's shaped like a circle and is fuzzy. When you crack it open, it's white with a milky substance inside. Elrond identified it as a coconut. It's all right. Not good for 30 days worth, but it'll do for now. I am now the official wood finder… I have to run around this crazy island looking for wood and dry leaves to make a fire. It's better than cracking open those "coconuts." Poor Celeborn. Well, better him than me.

**Day Fourteen:**

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Well, now I am officially scared. I heard strange "woo" sounds last night near my coconut leaf bed. And to add onto that, it was storming. As you may know, elves are fearless, right? Well, I think I just tarnished my name. I have no clue what that sound was. It was certainly not anybody else on this island. It was too… unnatural to be them. Except it could have been Haldir. He's always doing jokes and pranks like that. Galadriel is still pacing. She has now worn a deep line into the sand. Arwen was frolicking around the other day and tripped into the hole Galadriel made. She got pretty mad. Elrond has turned a bit psycho on us. He told us to recycle all the coconut shells we've already used. He wants to make a "coconut god" called "Co Co". He says if we do, the coconut god will provide us with everlasting coconuts. I'm not sure about him anymore. I think it's just the island. It's driving everyone insane. Well, it's time for me again to collect more wood. Goodbye.

**Day Nineteen:**

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Well, the funny noises turned out to actually be Haldir "wooing" into a coconut shell by my bedside. That loser. I'll get him back… somehow. Galadriel made Arwen cry yesterday. I didn't hear the full story, but all I know is Galadriel called Aragorn a "wimpy school boy." Hm… that must have offended her. Elrond is still nuts about "Co Co". He made us sacrifice 20 leaves and 2 bananas yesterday. I'm not sure why though… Celeborn is still cracking those coconuts open. He's mastered the art. Haldir still hunts for some normal food. Yesterday he tried fishing. All he caught was an old boot full of holes.  I hope he gets better. If he does, we can throw a party for when we get off this crazy island. Galadriel is still pacing… the hole is deeper now. Celeborn considered of putting her in an asylum when we go home. 

**Day Twenty three:**

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Today I shot Arwen's Aragorn photo collection with my last bow and arrow. I got so fed up with her whining about how much she missed him. Sure, she hates me now. But I don't think she liked me in the first place. I'm so proud of myself. Everybody else laughed too. Galadriel smashed Elrond's coconut god yesterday. He got pretty mad about that. So he filled in Galadriel's hole. Everybody is starting to hate each other. Haldir accidentally broke Celeborn's coconut cracking tool. Because of that, Celeborn snapped Haldir's fishing pole in half. Thanks to those two, we have no food anymore. Only seven more days in this place. I'm also running low on wood. There seems to be no more. I guess I'll have to go all the way around the stupid place to look now. No more stealing from that nice little firewood rack I found in a cave! I was exploring down in that cave a couple days ago. I found a nice little living spot. I wonder if somebody still lives there. If not, I'm moving in… I can't take any more of their arguing. 

**Day Twenty eight:**

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Well, I apologized to Arwen today. She accepted. Thankfully. Elrond and Galadriel are still at each other's throats. They're just pathetic. I hope it'll all end before we go. Just a while ago, Elrond swore that he will smash Galadriel's mirror when we go home. I wonder if he'll really do it. I will definitely be there to watch. At least Galadriel stopped pacing. Celeborn and Haldir have cooled down a bit. Just yesterday Haldir remade his fishing pole. Celeborn helped. In return, Haldir helped Celeborn rebuild a coconut smasher. Oh! And speaking of coconuts… we found a whole new area full of them! Sure there's only 2 days left, but "Co Co" must have been real. I must have wandered that spots a thousand times and found nothing. Wow, maybe Elrond isn't insane after all.

**Day Thirty!!**

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Yay! We finally get off this crazy island! I'm so happy! This is the best day of my immortal life ever! Everybody apologized to each other now. Elrond will not destroy Galadriel's mirror. He told me that earlier. And now we all believe in Co Co, the coconut god. He provided us with many coconuts. Haldir finally caught a fish yesterday too! It wasn't very big, but we tired eating it anyway. I was intelligent enough to make a fire a toast it. It was a bit burnt, but it was better than coconuts. I swear I'll never eat another coconut as long as I live. But Co Co was good to us anyway. Why couldn't it have been fish instead? The fish was good, I guess.  Oh and another thing, that cave I found, turns out somebody actually did live there. His name was Chuck Noland. He was on that island for years. Four years I believe he told us. Too bad we didn't find him earlier. He could have helped us survive. The people who saved all of us told Chuck that they'll make a movie about him. "Cast Away" I believe is what they said they'll name it. Hm… I'll have to see that movie when it comes out. Well, it's time now for me to stop writing in this bloody journal and return to Middle Earth. Finally! I'm freeeeeee!!!!


	3. Arwen's Diary

**The Diary of Arwen:**

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**Day One:**

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Well, we just arrived a few hours ago. I miss my Aragorn so much! How will I live 30 days without him? I don't want to get too sappy on you diary, but you must understand… he's Aragorn for gosh sakes! Anyway, Galadriel has been pacing back and forth on this sand for an hour now, a small hole is beginning to show. She's acting strange. Daddy is just sitting there, I wonder what he's thinking about… Hehe, Celeborn wanted Legolas to go look for some wood. He refused and continued writing. Celeborn came back later and yelled at Legolas demanding him to go. Poor Legolas. He needs to stand up for himself. We sent Haldir out to look for food. I hope he comes back with something. This island is so pretty. The waves are so peaceful. It's driving Legolas mad… hehe. I miss you Aragorn!

**Day Six:**

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Hello! Lucky for me, I brought along several pictures of Aragorn with me. I decided to paste them on this strange looking tree right by my bedside. Aw, he was so cute as a baby… hehehe. Daddy rolled his eyes at me… what? He said my love for Aragorn was getting out of hand. Can I help that? NO! Oh, and while I'm writing, Galadriel and I had the biggest fight today. She said I was a pathetic excuse for an elf marrying a mortal man. She said it was a lame excuse for giving up my immortality to him. Grrrr! That witch! I'll get her back! Just you wait! I'm so hungry I can eat anything just about now. We haven't found any good food yet. Haldir has come back with nothing. Darn. I will go now and sit under my tree and mourn about how much I miss my Aragorn. Namarie.

**Day Seven:**

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Finally! Haldir found something! Daddy called it a coconut. It's not that bad. The trick was opening it. Hehe, Celeborn has the hardest time. It was really funny. Galadriel is _still _pacing! She's psycho! Legolas is running around like crazy looking for wood. He's coming back with a lot though. At least I don't have to do a stupid job like that. Celeborn is still struggling to open those coconuts. He's getting a bit better. Very slowly. I miss Aragorn! I'm going crazy! I miss him so much!! AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

**Day Fifteen:**

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Sorry about that last entry. I went a little crazy. I was frolicking around a couple days ago when I fell in Galadriel's hole she's pacing into the sand. Why the heck is she doing that? She better stop! I got temporarily mad. It's okay now. I think she's trying to bury herself alive to get out of this place. I don't blame her. With Haldir coming back with nothing but coconuts, Legolas running around looking for wood, Galadriel pacing, and Celeborn bossing everyone around, it's pretty annoying. Oh, and daddy made a coconut god. He named him Co Co. Daddy said if we offer stuff to him, we'll get more coconuts. To tell you the truth, I'm really sick of coconuts. I hope daddy knows what he's doing. Last night Legolas heard "wooing" sounds outside his bed. Hehe. Haldir did it! Legolas doesn't know that yet. But he's gonna be mad when he finds out!

**Day Twenty:**

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I am _SO _mad at Galadriel!!!! She called my poor Aragorn a "wimpy school boy!" I will SO beat her up! What made her do that?! I wish I could have said something back… but I was so mad I ran off and rearranged my Aragorn photo collection. Celeborn mastered the art to coconut cracking. He's awesome at it. Too bad I hate those freaking things. Haldir tried fishing. To put his fishing skills in the nicest way possible would be that he SUCKS! He caught an old, dirty boot full of holes! Eck! We're gonna die!!! Each and every one of us… Help!!

**Day Twenty four:**

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OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Legolas shot my Aragorn photo collection!!!!! Why is everybody picking on me?! What did I do to them?! That is the last time I'll ever speak to Legolas again! I am SO mad! The only funny thing that has happened lately was that Galadriel smashed daddy's coconut god. Daddy got so mad, hehe… he decided to fill in Galadriel's hole she paced. They're so mad at each other. It's really funny. Oh! And then Haldir "accidentally" smashed Celeborn's coconut smasher. Celeborn was so mad he broke Haldir's fishing pole. Not that it matters anyway. Legolas screamed that we're all gonna starve. I'm still mad at him! Grrr!

**Day Twenty nine:**

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Legolas apologized yesterday. I forgave him because I couldn't stay mad at him forever. Cuz forever is a _long _time for us elves. I think everybody else forgave each other too. I caught Celeborn helping Haldir make a new fishing pole. He actually caught a small fish! It was really, really small, but Legolas burnt it anyway. It was all right. Better than another freaking coconut. We get off the island tomorrow! Yay! I get to see Aragorn again! I missed him so much! I wrote him a letter everyday telling him how much I missed him. I told him I'd have to take more pictures of him since Legolas shot the other ones. Yay! We're freeeee!!

Day Thirty: 

Yay!!! We get off any minute now!!!! Legolas found this guy named Chuck. He's a cool guy. Well, I'm not spending any more time here, I see the ship coming! I'M COMING ARAGORN!!!!! Weeeee!!!!! 


	4. Galadriel's Diary

**The Diary of Galadriel:**

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**Day One:**

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We just got here… it's very bright… not used to it… I can't stay on here much longer… must… find way to… get out! Help me!

**Day Two:**

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I have found a way to distract myself from this terrible environment. Pacing back and forth on this sand. It feels nice against my feet. Almost comforting. I started pacing yesterday. A small hole has begun to show where I pace. I am pacing as we speak. I am hoping to pace a hole deep enough to distract myself away from this island and bury myself away from everybody. I am keeping to myself… must not think about horrid place… as long as I don't, I won't go crazy. It's really dark and scary at night. I didn't bring Mr. Doodles, my stuffed teddy my ex boyfriend gave me 3,000 years ago! Why did I forget Mr. Doodles?! Oh Doodles…

**Day Eight:**

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Still pacing… hole is deeper now… Fought with Arwen yesterday. She is so foolish giving up her immortality like that. For such a poor ranger. I bet he doesn't even want to be king. Guardian Haldir found some food. A coconut I believe Elrond called it. He threw me one yesterday. Celeborn had to open it for me. He tried for hours. I was so hungry I could have fainted in my hole. I wish I could have so Celeborn could have buried me. But that's beyond the point. The coconut tasted all right. 

**Day Fourteen:**

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Haldir scared Legolas last night. He was making funny noises into a coconut by his bed. Legolas got pretty freaked out. Haldir played it off well… boy will Legolas be mad when he finds out it was Haldir. Legolas has a bit of a temper… poor elf. Oh Well. Arwen tripped in my hole the other day. Clumsy elf. Frolicking is stupid anyway. I stopped doing that ages ago. I'm too mature for that. Obviously Arwen isn't mature enough to realize that. Elrond made a coconut god. It's funny looking. It has a hat made of leaves. I think Elrond said it was a crown. Foolish elf. I'm still pacing. Hole is much deeper now… must get out of here!

**Day Twenty:**

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Haha, I made Arwen cry. I called Aragorn a wimpy school boy. Just look at him, he is! She has a whole collage of Aragorn by her bedside. It's making me sick. I paced for 10 hours after that. Actually, I'm still pacing. As I write… hm. Celeborn wants to put me in an asylum. Yeah right. I'm only pacing because I want out of here. This is crazy. Why did I agree to do this? I guess I just wanted to waste my time… Haldir attempted to fish. It was horrible, he almost tripped in my hole. Why did he have to stand _right _where I'm walking? He always does that! See if he gets a raise…

**Day Twenty five:**

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Must… get out… cursed island… we're all going to die. Elrond wouldn't bury me alive… after hours of pleading! I'm thinking suicidal now… this can't be good… maybe that asylum isn't sounding so bad now… I have to go pace some more…

**Day THIRTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

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YES! Finally! Free! FREEEE!!!!!! Legolas met some guy named Chuck. Strange guy. He looks like a deranged human. Because I think he is. Too bad we didn't find him earlier. We could have eaten him. Arwen keeps screaming for Aragorn. I'm about to slap that girl. Well, it doesn't matter now! We're getting off today! Off to the asylum! WEEEE!!!!!


	5. Elrond's Diary

**Elrond's Diary:**

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**Day One:**

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We just arrived here. Legolas is already complaining. "Hey Elrond, what's this? I don't like it… I don't think we're in Mirkwood anymore…" SAND LEGOLAS! Geez. Those waves are driving him mad… hah! Arwen began crying when she realized she'd be on here for thirty days. Well, didn't she read the paper? Much less the TITLE of the paper?? "Thirty Days On An Island… Can You Handle It?" Obviously she can't. Galadriel is running around freaking out. She's turning green again… Celeborn is off by himself… Haldir is eyeing me like he's about to attack… maybe I should go talk to him.

**Day Nine:**

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Haldir found coconuts. He said there were a lot. I don't believe him… if there were a lot, why did he only bring back six? I think those are the only coconuts on this entire island… I need to find a way to make sure we don't run out… I think I'll go do that after I finish writing. My daughter has sneaked in a few Aragorn pictures and pasted them on a tree. I asked her why she did this and she replied, "Oh daddy, I miss him so." Yeah… sure… but you don't have to plaster pictures of him everywhere! Galadriel made fun of Arwen for loving him so much. I don't know about calling it a pathetic excuse for giving up her mortality… but whatever. I think I'll go make something now.

**Day Fifteen:**

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Yes! Finally! I found a way to solve our coconut shortage! My coconut god. I named him Co Co. ALL HAIL TO CO CO! THE COCONUT GOD!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, please do. **(A/N: Thanks "The Great Offenders" for that idea!) **He has a crown of leaves, and a pretty little necklace I made for him! Galadriel called it a hat… pfft! He will provide us with everlasting coconuts! Because I made him strictly for that purpose! Everybody else thinks I'm crazy. But just you wait!!! Co Co will provide us with everything we need! We still have fifteen more days left here… Galadriel is pacing like crazy… a deep, deep hole has begun to show. She wanted Celeborn to bury her in there a few days ago… strange lady. 

**Day Twenty One:**

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Galadriel made Arwen cry. She called Aragorn something. I don't really care anymore. Maybe he is a wimpy school boy… did he even go to school? Ranger school I suppose. Haldir went fishing. He caught an old boot. Good job Haldir. We're all gonna die as Legolas put it… Maybe that would be good for Galadriel right now. She's still pacing. Speaking of Haldir, he scared the stuffing out of Legolas a few nights ago by "wooing" into a coconut by his bed. Legolas really freaked out. Celeborn is getting better at cracking open coconuts.

**Day Twenty nine:**

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Haha. I filled in Galadriel's hole the other day… she smashed Co Co! Now we're REALLY gonna all die! Foolish insane elf! Arwen got mad at Legolas because he shot Arwen's photos of Aragorn… hahaha. Haldir and Celeborn broke each other's stuff too. I think Celeborn was happy I filled in Galadriel's hole though. She's going to the asylum tomorrow when we get off this island. I wish to visit her when she does go…

**Day Thirty!**

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Yay! We're getting off! We're getting off! (Dances around happily.)


	6. Haldir's Diary

**The Diary of Haldir****:**

**Day One:**

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Um… hello! My name is Haldir. I am a Lorien elf and I am the best freaking guardian you'll ever see! I have long blonde hair, piercing blue-ish gray eyes, and a deadly weapon! My bow and arrows of course! Somebody gave me this book to write about my experiences, so here I go…

It all started one day, a couple thousand years ago when I was frockling around in the woods, like the elves do. When I stumbled upon a trespasser. I jumped on him and tied him up. I then proceeded to bring the intruder to Lady Galadriel… wait… uuuuh…… OH!!!!!!!!!!! I get it now!!!! I'm supposed to tell you what happens when we're on the island???! Oooooooooooh!!! Why didn't anybody tell me? What? How was I supposed to know? I thought they told me to tell the stories… wait… okay I guess I wasn't listening. Let me start over…

My name is Haldir and I'm stuck on an island. There are more elves with me. Elrond, Arwen, Galadriel, Celeborn, and Legolas. That makes 6 of us elves on an island. No food, no water, no weapons! Okay, this is too hard, I gotta ask Lady Galadriel how to write in this thing…

**Day Five:**

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Hey! Guess what? I finally figured out how to write in here! I tried asking Galadriel, but she kept on walking back and forth, almost like she was pacing or something… so I had to ask Lord Celeborn. He told me everything. Although I haven't seen him writing in his yet. Well, to tell you the truth, I really don't feel like telling all you guys what's happening out here. Who cares anyway? But if I must, I will tell you what I've been doing for the pats five days. I went looking for food. Found a coconut. I told Elrond there were a lot. He didn't believe me. I was eyeing him the other day… I think I freaked him out… hahahaha! King-y dude. Well, I'm gonna go now. Bye!

**Day Twelve:**

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Hiya! (Karate! Hello! Get it? Aww. Nevermind.) The ladies have been fighting. I don't really care, so I didn't listen. Legolas is the wood finder. I go look for good. All I can find is coconuts. I'm really bored at this place… I need to do something. I wanna play a practical joke on somebody… but who's going to fall for it? Elrond probably wouldn't. I won't mess with Galadriel and Celeborn, they can fire me. Uh, Arwen may cry… LEGOLAS! Yes! Everybody loves that elf too much. It'd be good to see him scared and whimpering… what can I do? Hm…

**Day Nineteen:**

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Moo-ha! Scared Legolas! I found some old coconuts and make a "woo" sound into them. He jumped up like a kitten and yelled! Ahaha! I did that a couple nights ago, Legolas finally figured out it was me. Slow elf… I was told to go fishing. So I made some kind of fishing pole, and caught a boot. It's pretty pathetic. I hope to get better Uh, more stuff happened today. And the other days. And I'm sure more stuff will happen tomorrow too. But you know what whoever is reading this? Read somebody else's diary. I wanna go scare Legolas some more!

**Day Twenty Eight:**

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Wow, I totally forgot about my diary. I lost it for a week. It was under my coconut shells. Speaking of coconuts, Elrond and his stupid coconut god. "All hail Co Co." No! He can get a little weird at times when he's not around civilization… Oh! Hahahaha! Get a load of this… Arwen had these pictures of Aragorn, and Legolas shot them alllllll down!!! Haha! Stupid Arwen. Oh, and I broke Celeborn's coconut smasher. He broke my bloody fishing pole. Oh well, who cares right? Well, we get off in 2 days, so I'm gonna stop writing in this thing. Goodbye.


	7. Celeborn's Diary

**The Diary of Celeborn:**

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**Day One:**

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Well, we just arrived here. Galadriel is pacing like there's no tomorrow. Haldir keeps looking at Elrond. Haha, funny elf. I think I should be the boss around here. After all, I am a king. I think I shall go make Haldir look for food. He could get a raise if he finds something good enough. Legolas will go look for wood… because I said so. Arwen is already crying that she misses her love.

**Day Eight:**

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Haldir found coconuts. I tried to crack them open, it's very hard. Legolas found a whole stash of wood. Elrond didn't believe him. Galadriel and Arwen had a fight a couple days ago. Galadriel called Aragorn something. I don't remember the word. Well, Legolas still returns with wood. And Haldir still finds coconuts. I'm still cracking them open. Banging them on rocks is very hard to do. I must find another way to open them. I threw one to Galadriel today, haha, almost nailed her too. She is still pacing; she needs to stop that, I think she's going insane…

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**Day Thirteen:**

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Elrond made a coconut god. Named him "Co Co." He's kind of strange. But that's okay. He's my friend and I won't call him strange, wait… I just did… oh well. It's not like he's going to read this anyway. At least I hope not. Haldir is planning to scare Legolas tonight. Haha, he's going to use coconut shells. That's all he told me… Well, Galadriel made a deep hole in the sand where she is pacing. Arwen fell in it. She got pretty mad… I am still throwing the coconuts on a rock to crack them open. I shouldn't be doing this! I am a king. Somebody else should do that.

**Day Twenty:**

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Sorry I have not written lately. Galadriel made Arwen cry… _again. _She called Aragorn a "wimpy school boy" or something along that line. Arwen got sad. She made a collage of Aragorn photos on a tree. She's kind of strange sometimes… Um, I never know what to write on here. I guess that's why I haven't written in here for a while. Uh, let's see, Galadriel is still pacing… I considered of putting her in an asylum when we get home. Elrond made us sacrifice 20 leaves and 2 bananas for his coconut god… what good did it do? Nothing, I assume. Oh yes! I have finally mastered the art of coconut cracking. I have devised this contraption. I call it… "The Coconut Smasher." It just what it says, it smashes them! Woo-ha! It's wonderful. I am so good.

**Day Twenty four:**

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All right, that's it. Haldir smashed my coconut smasher. He is so dead. I broke his stupid fishing pole he made. Now that we have no food anymore… uh… it was a stupid fight I guess. But he started it! Or maybe I did… I don't know. It's over now. Legolas shot Arwen's photo collection. Haha, that was funny. Oh, and Elrond filled in Galadriel's hole because she smashed Co Co. Everybody almost hates each other now. It's just the island… it's making everybody crazy. It'll be over with when we get off this dumb place.

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**Day Twenty seven:**

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Everybody is still pretty mad at each other. Legolas hasn't apologized yet. I'm not mad at Haldir anymore. I helped him remake his fishing pole. And he helped me remake my coconut smasher. Elrond and Galadriel are still mad at each other. Uh… Haldir found more coconuts! Co Co must have been real or something. He said he couldn't find any a few days ago. Oh well. More for us. I guess Elrond knew what he was doing then.

**Day Thirty:**

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Yay! It's our last day! Free! Now I can send Galadriel to the asylum! She really needs it. Oh, and Legolas and Arwen apologized to each other too. Legolas found this guy named Chuck. The people that rescued us said they were going to make a movie about him. Well, I have nothing more to say, I hope you enjoyed my little dumb, blasted diary. Goodbye. 


End file.
